Why Successful Women Are Targeted Online - What to Do About It
- deirdreahaggerty
- May 3
- 6 min read
Why are successful women often targeted online? Besides having to field cyber beggars and digital panhandlers, we also must block bottom-feeding scam artists. It seems the more visible successful women are, the more sophisticated catfishing scams become.
A celebrity imposter tried to catfish me on Substack. That in and of itself is ironic. Substack is the social media of the intelligent. If Twitter used to be where the cool kids in high school hung out (till Musk took over), then Substack is AP English.
Good luck trying to scam a female on the platform. Let alone Gen X.
He tried, though.
Then he blocked me.
How Gen X Shut the Celebrity Imposter Down
Intuition often arrives as a whisper. A gut feeling that has always guided me.
After posting a Substack article about perimenopause and a note regarding gray hair, this fool followed me. The fool writing this followed him back - for about 2 seconds. There are many celebrities on the platform. I have also had real celebrities follow me in the past. No lie. But...
His profile showcased an ex-NFL player-turned-actor. My gut told me to unfollow as soon as I followed. I searched Google, then returned to his Substack profile, which validated my suspicions.
New account. No subscribers. No subscriptions. Following a few hundred, yet had zero followers in return.
But before I could hit unfollow, he messaged me.
“Hey, I’d love to get to know you better…”
Never would I have entertained this. But I was feeling ornery.
So, I led him to defeat.
Because when you’ve lived enough life — When you’ve navigated careers, relationships, reinvention, grief, growth — You stop listening only to what people say.
You start watching what they do.
And something about this didn’t sit right.
He needed to be taught a lesson, and I was in the mood to educate.
Did it matter?
No, but the more visible I become, the more unsolicited messages arrive to grow my YouTube channel, help my coaching business, and increase my online presence.
Trying my patience.
It is frustrating because if it doesn’t land in the spam folder, it takes time away from true business. The more we receive, the more time it takes to check the message, mark it as spam, and block it, even though it could be a genuine lead or client.
And these show up on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook, and of course, email.
I had hoped Substack would be different.
It wasn’t.
Then came the line:
“I don’t have a big circle… I really value genuine people. I’d love to get to know you better.”
I knew he was positioning himself.
So I responded:
“Wow. Thanks. You can get to know me through my writing on this platform. I coach people for a living—I read behavior for a living too. This feels off. If it’s really you, verify it through your official platform. If not, take care.”
He came back with some BS that this is his “New account and his management team only has access to his official platform. We can go slow and keep it simple if you like.”
Once, I read on Substack, “Writers take down others through writing.”
I answered, “Is that a script you’re reading from, or did ChatGPT write it for you? Either way, I am getting valuable information for my next podcast and article. So, I thank you. Verification is simple. Even for celebs. Try to catch the next senior you think is gullible. Especially on this platform.”
He blocked me.
Why Successful Women Get Targeted Online
He didn’t know what I was up to. But I knew what he was.
Here’s what else I know—personally and professionally:
When you are visible, expressive, and building something meaningful online, you become a magnet. Age doesn’t change the opportunity, except that these bottom-feeders believe women over 50 are unable to distinguish between affection and scams.
They believe us to be gullible.
They underestimate Gen-X.
Not all attention is created equal. There are people who want to grow with you. And there are people who want access to you.
The difference is not in their words - It's in their behavior.
Here’s the shift: Boundaries.
Boundaries are not about pushing people away.
They are about pulling yourself closer to what is aligned.
And the more you grow, the more visible you become — the more important that distinction is.
You don’t need to be more open.
You need to be more discerning.
You don’t need to respond to everything.
You need to trust yourself faster.
That moment?
It wasn’t about a fake account.
It was about reinforcement.
Proof that the work — the inner work — changes how you move through the world.
And if you’re in a season of building, growing, or reinventing yourself, let this be your reminder:
Not everything that looks like an opportunity is meant for you.
And not everything that feels off needs to be investigated. (Unless you're feeling ornery)
Sometimes, it just needs to be honored.
Sip on that.
If this resonated with you…
This is exactly the work I do with my clients.
Learning how to:
Trust your instincts
Set clear boundaries
Navigate personal and professional relationships with confidence
If you’re in a season of change, growth, or reinvention, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
👉 Book a free discovery call.
Book Recommendation: Think Again by Adam Grant
If you want to sharpen your ability to spot manipulation, this book is a quiet powerhouse.
Think Again isn’t about intelligence —it’s about how we think. Adam Grant breaks down why we cling to first impressions, why confidence can trick us, and how easily we can be persuaded when something feels right instead of actually being right.
And that’s exactly where scams live.
Scammers don’t rely on logic—they rely on:
urgency
flattery
emotional hooks
This book trains you to pause, question, and rethink your initial reaction—which is often the difference between getting pulled in and shutting it down.
One of the most powerful takeaways is learning to think like a scientist:
👉 test what you’re being told
👉 question assumptions
👉 stay curious instead of convinced
That mindset alone makes you significantly harder to manipulate.
Because when you understand your own thinking patterns, you stop being an easy target.
If you’re building something, becoming more visible, or just navigating life online today…
This isn’t just a good read.
It’s protection.
👉 If you’re serious about sharpening your instincts and not falling for surface-level charm, grab Think Again here: https://amzn.to/4w37zJk
👉 It’s a simple read that can save you from costly mistakes—personally, professionally, and online.
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