My Over 50 Career Journey Part II: College, Marriage, Kids

College. Licensed Cosmetologist.

If you’ve been following along with my over-50 career journey, I am now at the beginning of my college career, and contrary to high school, I am falling in love with education, not my major, but schooling itself.

I lapped up all I could learn, but the only classes I liked as a business major were English, business law, and a psychology elective, which sparked something internal. My calculus grades tanked, and it was too late to change. I’d have to wait until my second semester to drop business and become a psychology major. I wanted to be the next Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Ha! Ha!

My new love, my grandfatherly English teacher, Professor Schwartzman, inspired me to write, noting a talent I had submerged years earlier. I took as many of the courses he taught as possible while attending the community college, even inviting him to my wedding three years later. His words, and the words of great novelists before him: “Write what you know,” have echoed throughout my lifetime, reigniting my literary passion, starting as many projects as I tossed aside. A fact I’d learn later in life is commonplace among writers.

Engrossed in my education, I became disinterested in cosmetology, secretly planning on skipping the practical exam to the chagrin of my mother, who took off from work to be my hair model for the test. Back then, we tested on humans, not the mannequins permitted today. My closest friend from beauty culture called me the morning of and blew up at me when I informed her I won’t be going to the test site. She provided more of the tough love I received from our high school cosmetology teacher, and I relented. However, time was limited, so Michelle hurried to my house, helped me set my mother’s hair in rollers, we raced to our old school for her to dry under the hood, and made it to the test site in a nick of time.

Hairstylists who know, know the amount of time required to dry a dense head of coarse hair like my mother’s in rollers. Her hair was still damp for the comb-out, but somehow, I miraculously passed and received my license. Ms. Fil’s words still resonate today: “Never let your license expire.” And I haven’t. As a matter of fact, I am licensed in two states, New York and New Jersey.

I worked as a hairstylist while attending college, making money while earning a degree. Towards the end of my first semester, after the Mets won the World Series, I met my soulmate the day after my nineteenth birthday, so noted the next morning when I told my mother I had met the man I would marry.

Our relationship will be the subject of my next series, My Love Journey: Why I Became a Relationship Coach. However, it is relevant for now because my career journey took many detours as my family began and grew. Let me be clear. I am grateful for the necessary deviations, twists, and turns; without them, I wouldn’t have arrived at my place of peace.

The start of the new year also marked the establishment of a new life. A budding relationship ran parallel with my newfound passion for psychology, and I was determined to become a sex therapist and earn my PhD. School was a challenge, yet never difficult. I thrived, especially after getting my Associate’s Degree and transferring my credits to Hofstra University. However, before its popularity, I took a gap year to get married.

Marriage. College.

It’s funny when people now say that’s what people did back then. No, not at all. We were the youngest and the first of our friend group to wed (I was 21, he was 23). We weren’t our parents; this is what they did. But we were sure we could make it work.

On the way to the ceremony, my father attempted to bribe me with an offer to finish paying for my education if we turned the limo around. I chose to meet my fate and pay for my education, and as a result, I was the only married woman my age attending my college, and I loved it.

Now at Hofstra, my psychology of substance abuse professor convinced me to take certification courses at another college for substance/alcohol abuse counseling. The plan, I was full of plans, was to become certified and work as a counselor, stop doing hair, and attend graduate school.

Family. Business. Career Journey.

I graduated from Hofstra, finished the required courses for substance abuse counseling at Molloy College, attended the requisite 12-step programs pretending to be an insider, which was awkward to say the least, primarily upon running into people I knew, and then began working a paid internship in a program for addicted mothers and their children. I needed to document a specific number of hours for certification. Three months in, and I was pregnant. Three months later, I had to leave. Emotions ran high, I was consistently ill, and for the betterment of my unborn child, I resigned, along with any notion of returning. It was not for me.

At the same time, my husband lost his career path due to a recession. Truth be told, he didn’t want to be an electrician, and we were grateful the apprenticeship took a pause. However, he returned to school for broadcasting, and I put my graduate school dreams on hold.

After the birth of my firstborn, I was offered a position as a vocational counselor, which would have meant full-time daycare. Both of our parents worked, and without other family options, I balked. Instead, I returned as a part-time hairstylist, working around my husband’s schedule.

We purchased our first home, built a single-chair salon in our basement to work from home, and had another son. Thoughts of returning to grad school arose, and I took the GRE. However, my husband, whose career was flourishing in television, wanted to own a DJ company. We battled, and then came to an agreement as son number three arrived. Together, we’d open a children’s party facility focusing on dance and (of course) hair and makeup parties. It exploded into one of Long Island’s top-rated entertainment companies and later, a larger brick-and-mortar.

When our fourth son was born, money ran tight, and I returned to a salon outside the home to earn extra income. However, my husband begged me to leave, desperately needing my help. I did until we closed our doors. I again tried for grad school, but I'd have to retake the GRE as it had been some time since my last. Once again, it was put on the back burner.

I began online writing for some pay-per-view sites, focusing on beauty, and created an online presence, a beauty blog (www.asktheprostylist.com), and received invitations to spectacular red-carpet events with incredible gratis. Reaching a student from across the nation who chose me as a mentor for a class project was the pinnacle of success.

The pay was terrible, but the perks were super, and I was unwittingly creating a career that began this current path, which led me to this moment. Stay tuned for more of My Over 50 Career Journey Part III: The Road to Coaching, which will be posted soon.

Why I Became a Coach

I became a coach to help others succeed, share my success, empower women, and unite with the symbiotic relationship of gratitude and life, which is the foundation of who I am. Becoming a coach was a natural progression from the journey I am about to retell. I coached my family, colleagues, friends, employees, and students. Coaching with Ms. D pays homage to those students who inspired me and coaxed me to be a coach. However, although I coached, I never realized it was my calling until I found peace.

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I AM NOT A LICENSED THERAPIST OR PSYCHOLOGIST. COACHING SESSIONS ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR THERAPY OR MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING. We focus on the present and future. I provide personalized support and strategies to help you achieve your career goals and self-evaluate your progress. Together, we work towards your ultimate success. Schedule your free consultation now!

Do you want to work in the beauty field? My book, The Future Professional's Guide to Cosmetology, answers all your questions about the industry.

Email your inquiries to coachingwithmsd@gmail.com or call me at 732-800-6416 (during EST business hours).

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©Deirdre Haggerty 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. It is unlawful to reproduce this article or any part without the author’s prior written permission and consent.