What Coaching Actually Does (And Why It Works)

deirdreahaggerty
1 day ago
4 min read

What coaching actually does is one of the most misunderstood parts of personal and professional development. People often come into a discovery call expecting one of three things:

Advice.
Instructions.
Answers.

They assume a coach will tell them what career to choose, whether to leave the relationship, how to grow the business, or what the next move should be. And when I tell them I do not do that…they look surprised. Because most people have never actually experienced coaching.

So let’s talk about what coaching really is - and why it works.

Coaching Is Not Therapy

This is the first and most important distinction. Therapy and coaching are both valuable. They simply serve different purposes.

Therapy often helps people process, heal, and understand experiences from the past.

Coaching helps people move forward intentionally.

One is not better than the other. Sometimes people benefit from both. But they are not interchangeable.

As a coach, my role is not to diagnose. It is neither treatment nor clinical care.

My role is to create a space where people can think differently, hear themselves more clearly, and move toward the future they want.

Coaching Is Not Advice

This surprises people.

People will ask: “Can you just tell me what to do?” I honestly understand the question because life can feel overwhelming. Career decisions feel heavy. Relationships feel complicated. Transitions feel uncertain.

Wouldn't it be easier if someone else chose for them?

But coaching does not work that way. Because what worked for me may not work for you.

Your values are different. Your experiences are different. Your goals are different.

Instead of giving advice, coaching asks better questions. Questions designed to uncover:

patterns
assumptions
blind spots
fears
possibilities
values

Questions that help people hear themselves more clearly.

What Coaching Actually Does

So if coaching is neither therapy nor advice…What actually happens?

A coaching session usually begins with one question: What would you like to focus on today?

And then we explore.

Career decisions.
Business growth.
Confidence.
Relationships.
Life transitions.
Overthinking.
People pleasing.
Burnout.
Purpose.

But coaching is not about solving the problem for someone. It is about helping someone understand themselves differently.

During coaching, people often begin noticing things they could not see before:

The story they keep repeating.
The fear underneath the decision.
The expectation they never questioned.
The opportunity they dismissed.
The belief that no longer fits.

That aha moment often sounds like: “Oh.” Not because they received an answer. They realized they already knew.

Why Coaching Works

One of my favorite moments in coaching is watching someone pause. Reflect. And realize something new. Not because I gave them the answer. Because they uncovered it. That moment creates clarity. And clarity creates movement. Movement creates momentum.

This is why coaching works. Not because coaches fix people. People are not broken.

Coaching helps people become:

More intentional
More aligned
More confident
More aware
More clear

And when people become clear…they move.

You Already Know More Than You Think

One of the most surprising things I have learned as a coach is that most people already have the answer. It is usually buried under fear, overthinking, old stories, expectations, people pleasing, and an incredible amount of noise.

Sometimes people do not need more information. Sometimes they need someone to help them hear themselves again. That is what coaching can do.

Want To Learn More?

If this conversation sparked curiosity and you want to go deeper into coaching, clarity, and meaningful change, here are a few books I recommend:

Join Me For Coffee With Ms. D ☕

If this resonated with you and you've been wishing for a space to talk about life, transitions, reinvention, careers, relationships, or what comes next…

I want to invite you to Coffee with Ms. D., a free monthly Zoom gathering for women navigating change.

No pressure.

No perfect answers.

Just conversation, reflection, connection—and maybe one next step. Grab your coffee.

Come exactly as you are. Because sometimes the fastest way forward is not another strategy.

It is clarity.

Free Discovery Call

Schedule your complimentary discovery call to learn how coaching can benefit you. You’ll find clarity, feel empowered to redirect your energy toward your growth, and align your values and needs with your career, relationships, and life.

Coaching with Ms. D offers both individual and package options of 30 and 60-minute Coaching Sessions, where you will be asked thought-provoking questions and learn strategies to build your life, advance your career, and strengthen your relationships. You will gain clarity, confidence, and be prepared with a personalized approach to achieve your goals.

I AM NOT A LICENSED THERAPIST OR PSYCHOLOGIST. COACHING SESSIONS ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR THERAPY OR MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING. We focus on the present and future. I provide personalized support and strategies to help you achieve your career goals and self-evaluate your progress. Together, we work towards your ultimate success. Schedule your free consultation now!

Do you want to work in the beauty field? My book, The Future Professional's Guide to Cosmetology, answers all your questions about the industry. Email your inquiries to deirdre@coachingwithmsd.com or call me at 732-800-6416 (during Eastern Standard Time business hours).

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©Deirdre Haggerty 2026. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. It is unlawful to reproduce this article or any part without the author’s prior written permission and consent.